For kids with big feelings

My first grader has always been a girl with big feelings. When she is happy or excited, it's the best thing in the world, but when things aren't going well, watch out. We've learned through patience and practice that this isn't a fault, it's beautiful.   But.

But. Sometimes it's too much. Sometimes it's too much for me, and sometimes it's too much for her. And I do believe that one of the most important things I can teach this sweet, gifted, anxious, emotional girl is how to feel her feelings without letting them control her. And since I've only just been learning this myself, it's been a journey we've taken together.



We got this book as a gift a few years ago, and it's a great introduction to mindfulness for kids. Simply being aware of and present with their experience is such  a crucial skill, particularly in this  modern age.




I absolutely love this book because I can see myself and my little girl in it so clearly. In the book, Sophie gets angry and she runs to a favorite tree where she finds comfort. There are lots of great lessons to learn here about grounding oneself and how to deal with feelings that seem overwhelming.



This series, aimed at kids about 6-12, teaches the basic lessons of cognitive behavioral therapy in age appropriate ways. In What to do when you worry too much, kids (and parents) learn that worries grow when you pay attention to them and some strategies for putting those worries away. I also recommend What do do when you grumble too much which opens with one of my favorite images - that of a kid kicking a hurdle instead of jumping it.



I love love love Jaime from Cosmic Kids yoga, and her series of Zen Den mindfulness lessons is totally on point. In this one, she talks about the concepts of owl brain and guard dog brain, which relate to the neuroscience concepts of wise brain and primitive brain, and how to get into your wise brain more often. She also has great videos on paying attention, on disruptive thoughts, and on jealousy.  Her series of guided relaxations is helpful as well.



This series on Growth Mindset from Classroom Dojo, based on the research of Carol Dweck, teaches kids how to change their mindset towards success and failure. In my house, this was key for overcoming challenges. Kids with a fixed mindset tend to believe they are either good at something or not, but by teaching them to shift to a growth mindset we can help them see mistakes as learning experiences, which greatly reduces meltdowns.

My big girl and I still have a lot of feelings, and we still have a lot of work to do, but I think that the  more we talk about this stuff, the better it will get as she gets older. I truly believe that social emotional learning needs to be at the core of all instruction